Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: To tie the score.
Q: Why did it take you so long to complete a lullaby?
A: It kept putting me to sleep.
Q: Why did the monster eat at the North Pole?
A: He wanted a frozen dinner.
Q: Why is there a moth in my soup?
A: The fly must be on vacation.
Q: Why did the waitress walk all over the pizza?
A: Because the customer told her to step on it.
Q: Why did the nurse fail in art class?
A: She could only draw blood.
Q: Why did the math teacher take a ruler to bed?
A: She wanted to see how long she slept.
Q: Why did the girl put on lipstick during class?
A: The teacher was giving a make-up test.
Q: Why did the principal marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet.
Q: Why is there a dead spider in my soup?
A: Because they aren't very good swimmers
Q: What happens when you don't clean your mirror?
A: You get a dirty look.
Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: It was tired of getting kicked around.
Q: Why did the softball player take her bat to the library?
A: Her teacher told her to hit the books.
Q: Why did the girl bring a jump rope to school?
A: So she could skip the test.
Q: Why did the student eat a dollar bill?
A: His mother told him it was for lunch.